The Strange Inner Workings of NBC Promgramming (OR Seriously, Who Comes Up With This Stuff?)

So I'm sitting here watching an episode of Andy Barker, PI on Universal HD. Does anyone else remember this show? Seriously, I know it was only on for like 6 episodes or something, but I thought it was pretty funny. Kinda along the same lines as Chuck and Psych. At least, in as much as it followed an inept dude pretending to be a detective. And it was populated with quirky characters liable to say or do wacky and amusing things. I don't know - it was funny. It's too bad it wasn't an instant hit and, so, as usual, NBC pulled the plug before it even had a chance to catch on. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd much rather watch an Andy Barker, PI than a Kath and Kim on Thursday nights, but whatever. No one asked me. I just consider it a stroke of luck that The Office survived those first couple of seasons when it was perpetually on the verge of cancellation. Because leave it to NBC to cancel a future Emmy-winner and cult favorite just because they were too dumb to promote it. Thank God for Ben Silverman, right? And look where we are now. With The Office in the coveted post Superbowl slot. My, how things change. Silly NBC. What would they have to pimp out without The Office?

Well, okay, Heroes, but seriously, how much longer is that going to last? I don't know if it'll make the cut next season when NBC embarks on it's attempt to become the Jay Leno Network. I'm not sure what that's all about or how it's gonna work. Two hours of real tv (ala FOX) followed by an hour-long Jay Leno Something Or Other Hour. Um ... well, sounds like something destined to go the way of the evening edition of The Price is Right or Rosie's variety show. But then no one asked me ... again. I think that's where their problem comes in. Not with not asking ME, but with just letting some old dude in a coma's incompetent daughter call the shots (relax, it's just a 30 Rock shout out.) I don't know ... whatever, I guess. As long as The Office isn't on the chopping block. But seriously, they wouldn't give it an HOUR after the Superbowl and then shitcan it ... so I don't think that's too much of a concern. However, I almost don't dare to hazard a guess as to what other shows will and won't still be around. Maybe they intend to shift to a different scheduling scheme all together. Maybe they will show some shows in a fall-winter season and others in a spring-summer season. Or maybe they'll start splitting the seasons like USA does with most of its hit shows now. Or maybe they could just deliver us from the ravages of The Biggest Loser. Couples, families ... holy crap, did we need to see that? If I wanted to see a whole gaggle of fat people, well, I could go look for a 3-way mirror or attend pretty much any family event ... in anyone's family. I want to see this on TV? Hmm, not really. So, you know, the least they could do is save it for summer.

Maybe this whole paring down the lineup will end up being good. Quality over quantity, right? I mean, really, take away The Biggest Loser, and I'm not sure they even have enough to fill the ten weekday primetime hours they are alotting themselves. I mean, Thursdays can remain the same since I don't anticpicate them reviving Andy Barker (more's the pity.) Probably just as well they don't have to try to fill ER's shoes after 15 years ... I don't think they could have done it. Not with the crop of crap that's been flitting around lately. There would have always been a Law & Order, I suppose. I wonder if those will stick around? I mean, the original Law & Order has been around since the beginning of time. But I have to say that I've been enjoying it a lot this season ... maybe more than in the past couple of years, so I'd hate to see it go. SVU is always a favorite, as well ... although it's hard to truly pinpoint it's appeal. Rapes and murders and kidnappings and kiddie diddlers - yay! Still, there's something compelling about it.

So I've just filled up 4 of the 10 hours ... plus, of course ... CHUCK! Which I love. And while I'm going on about my various TV obsessions, I might as well mention Life, with that tall, redheaded fellow. I love that show and think it could definitely catch on and be a hit. Crime drama but with some quirkiness. Not goofiness like Psych, but quirky enough to make it just different enough to be interesting. So in my perfect NBC lineup (as dictated by the shows currently availabe) that leaves four hours. But I would love to have Friday Night Lights (Riggins!) back next season. So that would leave three hours ... damn, still time for The Biggest Loser, after all, even if Heroes makes it back for a what ... 37th season? Okay, maybe it just seems that long due to all the extraneous plots. I don't know. I used to like it all right, but now I can't seem to figure out what the hell is going on.

Still, I guess it's better than Momma's Boys. I mean, REALLY? If they want to do some 'reality' programming, I have lots of suggestions for them. Okay, so those all involve cast members from The Office, but so what? People like them ... they aren't insufferable twits who need their mommies to wipe their noses. Well, not that I know of. Or, you know, alternately, if they need to fill some space, as Cait and I were discussing the other day, what would be so wrong about doing an Office extras ... maybe all about a certain wedding (or two) this season. And I'm sure they could come up with something for next season as well. Not an entire new show, just a special now and then. Come on, you know you want to see Pammy trying on wedding dresses. Of course you do.

It's better than Dateline, right? Or a repeat of the Olympics opening ceremonies?!? Do they just throw a dart at the wall with all the things they've shown for the past year? At least on Friday they showed some Top Chef. I mean, hey, if you've got nothing else to put on, skeez some shows for your affiliate networks, eh? I'd love to see a Saturday Night Psych marathon myself. Or Burn Notice. Or Top Chef. Or even Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It would all be better than the Olympics. Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? Cancel quality shows like Andy Barker, PI so we can all watch reruns of 5-month-old international events ... because I know I've just been waiting for the chance to see Belarus march into the Beijing stadium again ... wow.

Seriously, what are they thinking?